An unexpected rawness in emotions has become my passenger. I was not prepared to feel…to really feel all my emotions so strongly. Is it the journey, or the time to sit and contemplate? Is it the time spent without speaking to anyone – often days at a time? Or is it just the trip itself and the outcome a journey of this magnitude creates.
Some of the emotions are wonderful and freeing and others are just down right odd, and even in the mists of feeling them I wonder – what the hell! Take for example when I was trying to meet up with friends and missed taking a picture I really wanted…I was so frustrated that it brought tears, over a missed photo! Instead of just turning around and riding back the hour I called home to say “what the hell – why am I so emotional, I am crying over a photo”…mom was great and said to just go back… “just go back!” Such a simple statement and although I knew I would – for some reason I had to cry it out first – so wiping away the weird tears I turned around and went back for one of my favorite photos to date!
That is just one of many examples of the rawness that occurs, one that is a little more on the “glass half full” side of life is the pure euphoria that I felt just in my slow breaths as I enjoyed the stunning sunsets over the lake between LA and TX during my time at North Toledo State Park camping. The colors in the sky seemed more vibrant and the sounds of the birds saying goodnight to the day seemed a pure – a true fit to the elements surrounding me -nature wise and emotion wise!
And then there is the joy that even in the memories brings a smile to my face from such experiences such as kissing the Manatees. A true gentle giant that I am still very much in awe of!
These emotions – the raw tears, deep joy, soothing calmness – I welcome them all as part of the journey and cherish them even in the tears and the laughter that comes after when I question – “what was that?”